I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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