guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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