you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
