conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize