Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
you inspire me to be a worse person
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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