why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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