dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
