Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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