I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
