We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
