He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
