Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
