Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
