lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
