Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
