i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
