Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
