porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Four minutes until I can fart!
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
My dick has a subreddit
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
