Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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