Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
