i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
