Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
