so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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