Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
