Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
