My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
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