you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
