What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
So squirting runs in the family.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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