This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
