oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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