i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You ate ashes out of my bong
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