did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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