I feel like abortions should bother me more
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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