So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
