i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
