i permit you to call me
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
She needs sedatives and a leash
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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