my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
In other news, I just burned my penis
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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