They should really pass out barf bags in church
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
