the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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