we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
