Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I use my feet as sexual weapons
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
