i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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