You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
he fucked my hip out of place.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
