Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i just had sex bonerless
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
