ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
no you cant smoke seaweed
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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