i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I will pee on everything he values.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
