i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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