Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
