Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
