I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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