one might say we're banned from that church
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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