Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
