Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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