just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
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