This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
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