come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize