Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
