I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
