If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
