why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
