haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize