you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
