eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
