We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize